Home Economics 101
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: Dan is going to secretly return to the hero-ing business. But after years of non-use, Archie is not fit for the job; he has to dispose of it. But he can't! So he takes Archie to Jon, whom turns the ship into... a human boy?.:.semiAU multi-ch slash fic.
1. Introductory Class

**A/N: So I totally fell in adoration with Mel-The-Shadow-Lover's anthro version of Archie. I mean, who wouldn't love an owlship-turned-into-a-human-child character? It's not really an OC, just another version of a familiar character, so I'm not breaking any "bad fanfic" rules, LOL.  
****Just so you know, I DID ask permission to use anthro!Archie, and am going to dedicate this fanfic to Mel-sama. Happy reading, girl~! :D**

**Go see what inspired this! NOW~  
****mel-the-shadow-lover(dot)deviantart(dot)com/art/WM-Anthro-Archie-124947879**

**Extra note: this is semi-AU, meaning previous events are the same, only ones nearing the end are different. In this case, pretend that the movie-verse and comic-verse endings never happened; no end-of-the-world, no Rorschach-bloodblot-in-the-snow… none of that. Essentially, Watchmen in this fanfic is AU after the Comedian's death, because I'm keeping Laurie with Jon and whatnot. X3**

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The Introductory Class

It is difficult to say what to do with something when you know that it is obsolete. Do you sell it? Dismember it? Put it away in storage? Throw it away?

To someone as sentimental as Daniel Dreiburg, none of these things are acceptable. And in some situations, impossible; he can't sell this! No one in their right mind would buy it, not to mention the implications of a certain secret identity being blown if he sold it.

No, he can't rid himself of Archimedes. The owlship has been through nearly his entire hero career, which totals up to about half of his middle-aged life. Archie is strong and reliable and… and he made it with his own two hands, so how can he dispose of it? He needs the room in his basement, and Archie is in such bad repair from years of non-use that he needs to make a new ship if he's ever going to go into the hero-ing business again (which he is; after Rorschach's visit last week about the Comedian's death, Dan has been thinking that maybe what he's been missing all this time has been cloaked over a mannequin for the past several years).

So the question is, what to do? He wants to keep Archie, but it takes up far too much room, and can't even start. He doesn't have the heart to hide it in the depths of the New York bay, but he can't very well build and hold an entire new ship in the confines of this blasted Nest! So what should he do, shake Moloch from retirement and make him use is magic to poof Archie somewhere else, or into something else?

Then, an idea strikes: no, Moloch's an ex-villain and not a real magician, but there is someone who Dan is acquainted with whom is capable of transforming one thing into another.

xXx

"Jon, it's been a while," Daniel smiles as he steps foot into the military base and finds himself in a laboratory with a glowing blue man lingering above him.

"Hello, Dan," the invincible man says with a tone devoid of emotion.

The brunet nervously adjusts his glasses. "I'm sure you already know why I'm here."

"I do," Jon states calmly, and there is a hint of a smile in the flickering light of his ringed eyes. He casts an arm off to the side of his nude body to produce Archie. It teleports into the room and fills a space that might have been cleared of projects especially for it. "You wish for me to change Archie's molecular structure to that of something smaller and less complicated, in hopes of keeping it around for sentimentality's sake."

"Yeah," Dan replies lamely. He swallows tensely. "So… can you?"

"With a few added materials, I can do what it is you ask," Jon nods curtly.

"Thanks," the second Nite Owl grins gratefully. His chocolate eyes turn towards the owlship.

A few bursts of light – more teleportation – appear beside Archie, although Dan can't see from this distance what those things are. And then, suddenly, Dan glances to his right as he hears another teleportation in the process, and finds a bewildered Rorschach standing next to him.

The masked vigilante whirls on Jon. "Manhattan. What is meaning of this?" he growls, getting into the blue man's face and raising a fist. Even with the mask, Dan can tell that Rorschach is scowling, and perhaps frowning in confusion; it's written across the scrolling inkblots shifting on his 'face.'

"You need to be here for this," Job states simply. As he says this, the room is filled with an intense light as white-hot as a star exploding, driving Rorschach and Daniel into startled silence. They watch in awe as the smoke clears, and all of the 'needed material' is missing, Archie included.

In place of the owlship and extra chemical components, there is a lump on the floor, it's appearance balled-up and milky.

"Give him your coat, Rorschach," Jon requests at length, his tone of voice belying nothing. But there's a twitch on his face that Dan's catches and can only interpret as amusement.

"Him?" Rorschach clarifies, and as he looks in the direction of the milky lump, something clicks and he's rushing over to it.

Daniel can't believe his eyes as he follows quickly behind Rorschach and approaches what lays where Archie had once been resting. There, in front of his gaping mouth and frozen feet is a young boy of ten years of age at the least, and twelve at the most. The boy has wavy, light brown hair with an orange shimmer in the highlights given off by the laboratory lighting, and a small dusting of freckles across his cheeks, shoulders, and knees.

"Your coat, Rorschach," Jon reminds them as he appears behind the two.

Rorschach timidly bends down and awkwardly shrugs off his trench coat to reveal the pinstripe vest which matches his pants and the white shirt underneath. He drapes it around the strange boy.

Slowly, Jon waves his hand over the boy's head and murmurs, "I knew I could create life if I tried."

The boy's eyes flutter open in sync with the waving hand, and he blinks in confusion. "Huh?" he mumbles in a sleepy tone. He sits up, hugs the coat around himself, and yawns. "Daniel? Rorschach?" He stares up at them with caramel eyes as rich and sweet as a kitten's. "When did you both get so tall?"

"Tall?" Rorschach grunts. His shoulders twitch in a half-shrug of offense, since he's never been deemed tall in his entire life.

But Dan takes the remark much differently. He turns to Jon. "He… This is _Archimedes_? You… you turned him human?!" The shock is hardly left out of his voice.

Jon nearly smiles. "Yes. I thought you would do best with something that required more hands-on care, but could also assist you in crime-fighting from a distance and handle itself while you're away. I also wanted to test my abilities, to see if converting elements and mixed DNA into a living thing was possible. It is. I lifted a few skin cells from yourself and Rorschach to give your ship a base for it's own DNA."

Well, that certainly explained why Archie's new, human eyes are brown like his own. His hair, too. Although the freckles and orange lowlights are a mystery to him. And then he remembers that Jon mentioned he used Rorschach's DNA as well. "Why did you –"

"Stole my DNA, Manhattan? Humph. If weren't immortal, would break your neck. Better not have saved a piece for government use."

"Nothing to worry about, Rorschach," Jon reassures. He glances down at Archie, whom has been listening for the past few minutes in interested silence. "What do you remember?"

"Everything!" Archie pipes up gleefully. He scrambles to his feet and slips on Rorschach's grungy coat, tying it around his slim waist. "I remember flying over New York and hearing talking inside me about criminals and justice, and all kinds of stuff like that." He turns towards Daniel and frowns, a small finger poking out of a too-long sleeve hanging off his shoulder to scorn the older brunet. "You left poor Rory to do all the hard work by himself for a bunch of years! That wasn't very nice. I know there was some kind of law passed, but that's no excuse! I got _so_ bored, sitting there and getting dusty. And I bet Rory was as hurt and lonely as I was for all those years."

Daniel blinks rapidly, still trying to adjust to the change, but also trying to absorb what this kid – _his_ kid, in a strange way – is trying to tell him.

Rorschach cuts into the conversation. "Don't. Call. Me. Rory," he corrects sternly. "Men shouldn't have pet-names like dogs."

"But Dr. Manhattan used some of your DNA on me, you heard him! That means that you're like my dad, so I have to call you _something_. And I figured that you probably wouldn't want me calling you 'daddy,' would you? That's like me calling him –" he points to Daniel, whom is still staring "– my mommy! …Although," Archie adds with a cute giggle, "He kinda is my mommy, isn't he? He made me when I was still metal pieces and wires. And I heard Rorschach calling him an, 'over-bearing mother hen.'" As a joke, the post-ship reaches out and hugs Dan, exclaiming, "Mom~!"

Daniel finally snaps out of his stupor. "_Mom?_" he questions. He shoots a glare at Rorschach as Archie releases him and he's able to fold his arms over his chest. "I'm no mother hen, Rorschach."

"Could have fooled me," the other grunts listlessly.

Between the three, Jon gestures to the door. "You're going to leave in exactly two minutes, hollering something about not being a dysfunctional, makeshift family as soon as Laurie steps in to call you such."

"What?" Daniel puzzles as he turns his attention on the superhuman man.

As if on cue, however, Laurie bursts into the room behind her lover. "What's going on in here? I keep hearing a bunch of – Oh, hello, Dan. It's nice to see you again! What brings you here?" She smiles.

"Um, uh, y-yeah. Hi, Laurie." He offers a gentle smile in return. "I'm here because I wanted to do something with my owlship, and I suppose Jon has a twisted sense of humor, because he turned Archie into a human boy."

Her eyes grow wide, the mole beneath them shrinking in size. "Whoa. I didn't know he could do that." She sends her lover a brilliant smile. "That's impressive."

Jon brushes the compliment off. "My reasoning was because it seemed appropriate. Dan needed the distraction."

"Children can be very distracting," Laurie giggles. "But what does that make you, Dan? Part of some makeshift family? – Or part of a dysfunctional one, since I suppose Rorschach is going to have to help you with this since you two _were _partners." Her face clears for all of two milliseconds before she bursts into wild laughter, the image of Dan in a pink apron cooking dinner with Rorschach coming in through the front door and removing his hat like a businessman home for the day, all the while with Archie bouncing up and down at the table, demanding food.

A slight flush colors Daniel's face. "Partners in _crime fighting_!" he insists, and can almost hear Rorschach jerk into attention off to the side of him, where the vigilante is attempting to escort the child out of the laboratory.

"Am not going to be some domesticated piece of society," Rorschach grumbles in the direction of the other adults. "Child is not my problem."

"Aw, but Rorschach…" Archie whines as he stops in front of him, ceasing Rorschach's attempt to shoo him out, "Jon said that I have some of your DNA inside of me! Don't you want to be with your own flesh and blood?" he pouts.

Rorschach stiffens. He leans down (slightly prided by the fact that he's taller than someone for once) and mutters, "Own flesh and blood is like Mother. I _hate_ my mother."

"But I'm not your mother, I'm like your son!" Archie corrects. He clings to Rorschach's arm with both hands. "Remember all those times I carried you and Daniel around the city and came rushing to your sides when you were in trouble? I'm good at following orders! I won't be a disobedient child, I swear. So please, pretty please, Rory? Will you be my daddy?" Archie proceeds to whisper, "Besides, I know what you look like under your mask, and I like you just the way you are. And don't worry, I won't tell Mom who you are. I don't even know your name, so how can I?"

Rorschach tenses, the words processing in his mind at a languid rate. But as they come to the part about his other face having been seen, he softens a little; no one has ever liked him the way he is, and the innocence and truth coming from this young boy reminds him that not everything in the world is evil and cruel and in dire need of justification. So he sighs roughly, yanks his arm from Archie's grip, and states flatly, "Hurm. Fine. Will agree to stop by now and again to help raise you to be decent detective like self. Can't leave you in Daniel's hands; will make you too soft on criminals."

"Yay!" Archie cheers. He doesn't care about Rorschach's excuses for reasoning; he only cares that the vigilante is agreeing to stick around for his sake. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" He grips Rorschach in a hug. The other stiffens at the contact, not used to it, but Archie releases him soon enough so not to make the rugged hero too uncomfortable. "Can we go home, now?"

Daniel is stalking towards them, headed for the door. "We're going home _right now_," he mumbles. His face reveals that he's clearly embarrassed by something. He throws over his shoulder, "It's not funny, Laurie, so stop laughing! We are _not_ some dysfunctional, makeshift family! So whatever you're picturing is _absolutely impossible._"

"Not the way I see it," the brunette throws back with a giggly smile on her face. She threads her arm around one of Jon's. To him, she asks as she watches the three men leave, "What have you done, Jon?"

The blue man offers the smallest of smiles. "I have given Dan and Rorschach a lesson in home economics."

She drops her grip and begins walking back to her bedroom. "Heaven help them," Laurie says with a shake of her head.

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Next chapter:

Class One: How To Cook


	2. Class One: How To Cook

Class One: How To Cook

When the trio arrives at Dan's home, it's just after five o' clock. Archie runs into the kitchen from the Nest, the too-long coat sleeves flopping around his teeny fists. "Wow, I've never seen the upper part of the house before!" he exclaims as his two 'parents' follow behind him at a snail's pace. "It's so pretty! I mean, lookit at the owl stuff!"

Daniel runs a hand through his hair as he stops at the doorway leading into the living room, which has a very interested Archie rummaging through it. "We need to get you some clothes," he mutters.

Archie glances over at his original creator. A silly grin breaks out on his lightly freckled face. "I can wear some of yours until we can go shopping, Mom," he suggests.

Dan makes a face at the title, a minute blush appearing on his lightly tanned cheeks. "Don't call me 'Mom', please," he tells the young boy.

Archie shrugs. "Okay," he agrees. He leaps off the couch and runs up a short flight of stairs to Daniel's room for clothing. When he returns, he's dressed in a cream buttoned shirt and a pair of brown slacks rolled up at the bottom, and tightened at the waist with a thick black belt. He walks over to the taller brunet. Seemingly out of nowhere, he remarks, "I think I'm hungry. My tummy just made a weird noise, like the noises I've heard yours make when you work too late and forget to eat."

The new parent blinks. "Oh. Um, I don't have that much around the house right now, but there's a frozen pizza in the fridge that I can pop in the oven for you."

"Awesome! I've never had food before, so I can't wait to try it! Does it taste good?" he wonders.

Daniel smiles at the boy's naivety. "Yes, it tastes very good. Pizza is one of the things that taste the best, actually. I'll go preheat the oven right away."

"Okay," Archie says as he watches Daniel walk into the kitchen again. He turns to Rorschach, whom is just entering the room. "Are you gonna stay for dinner?"

Rorschach stops walking, having fully been decided on leaving out the front door. "No."

Archie doesn't like the sound of this. "That's not fair! I just came to life and I only get to see you for a few minutes before you leave? That's not fair at all. At least stay and eat with us," he pleads.

Rorschach glance at the boy and can't help but groan in compliance. The kid is manipulative without meaning to be; his big, soulful eyes and sweet, oval face are enough to convince the Walter half of Rorschach to stay for a little while.

"And as they say, the Grinch's heart grew two times that day," Daniel chuckles as he returns from the kitchen to find Rorschach begrudgingly sitting down on the couch beside Archie, whom insists on watching television. He nods in his partner's direction. "I guess even_ you_ have a soft spot for children."

It was in fact that soft spot that made Rorschach become callous in the first place; a child by the name of Blaire Roche. But this information is trivial now; it's been too many years.

"Hnk. Not all children, just him. Was right, what he said earlier; he is like a son, own flash and blood, so I can't abandon him. Refuse to, after what own mother did. Wouldn't be right."

"And you're all about right and wrong," Dan snorts half-seriously, half-sarcastically. Rorschach was all about black and white, but he chose to right wrongs in the oddest of ways (like using murder as a punishment for murder; it's almost hypocritical).

Archie glances away from the TV long enough to look at the two of them. "What's wrong with you guys? You didn't always act like this."

"Daniel quit hero work, made years separate us." Rorschach states as he removes his gloves and shoves his hands in his pant pockets. His coat is lying upstairs on the floor of Dan's room, and already he wants it back but doesn't feel like entering such personal territory for it.

"So… all those years made you two uncomfortable with each other?" Archie clarifies as he slides his baggy shirt sleeves up to his elbows. He frowns. "That's stupid! Friends should always be friends, right? And besides, M– I mean, _Dan_ – didn't quit for good! The reason he took me to Jon was because he wanted to make a new ship. He's going to be a hero again!" And the eleven-or-so years old boy bounces on the couch as he says this last sentence, because he's extremely excited about it.

Rorschach's inkblot face is cast in Daniel's direction now, the black blobs formulating a symmetrical shape that can almost be called curious. "Dan will be Nite Owl once more?"

Daniel fidgets in the doorway. Behind him, the oven beeps to signify that it's done preheating. Using this to his advantage, he says, "I'll be right back; I have to put the pizza in."

While he rushes off, Rorschach's brows bunch under his mask in a frown. Next to him, Archie giggles. "Don't worry, Mom just doesn't like being on the spot. I'm not lying or anything, and he won't deny it when he comes back." He pauses in thought. "He really missed being a hero; he felt like something was missing from his life – apart from me, of 'course," he adds with another giggle. He looks sideways at Rorschach. "And I think he missed being with you."

Now, Rorschach knows what the child means, but the word choice isn't ideal, because it makes the meaning sound contorted. "Missed me," Rorschach breathes, more Walter's voice than his own, and an invisible shiver runs through him.

Footsteps lead the brunet back into the room, and he's rubbing his hands together anxiously. "Anyway," he launches directly into his reply, "Archie's right. I am trying to get back into the swing of things, and I was going to start with a new ship. Then, uh, I was going to see if… well, if you wanted to be partners again, Rorschach. I'm not, well… I'm not very good on my own. Especially not after years of retirement. So what d'ya say? Help me build another ship, take care of Archie, and fight crime again?"

Rorschach watches the nervous expressions flit over Dan's face, and debates internally with himself and Walter for a moment. In the end, he nods to agree on all accounts.

Dan's face lights up, the anxiety gone. "Great! Thanks."

Archie claps his thin hands together. "Hurray for the reunion of a great team! And I can help, too; I might not look like it, but I have a really smart brain up here; I know all kinds of mechanics since I used to be something mechanical. I can help sketch blueprints with you, Dan, and build the parts that aren't too heavy or dangerous for me." He's grinning broadly, as if he just figured out how to cure cancer. "It's going to be so fun!"

Daniel laughs despite himself. "Yeah, a lot of fun," he agrees. He feels less awkward now, and decides to plop down in the empty half of the couch on the other side of Archie.

Immediately the young boy scrambles to Dan's side and wraps an arm around his pudgy middle. Dan hesitates for a moment, unaccustomed to the affection of a child, whom he has to remind himself is _his child_ and not a stranger's as he returns the gesture by placing his hand on Archie's back. The previous owlship shuts his eyes and snuggles into Dan. "This is a lot better than being a hunk of metal," he says, and his slightly sad tone warms Daniel's heart. "'Cause now I can show you how happy I am that you created me." Another thought occurs to him. "Oh! I have to do something for Dr. Manhattan, too! I have to thank him for making me this way," Archie smiles. He glances down at his stomach and grimaces as he pulls up the large shirt to reveal flat skin. "Although… I wish I had a belly button. After seeing yours a few times when you changed out of your owl suit, I wanted one. They look so… _human._"

But belly buttons are for people with mothers, people who have had umbilical cords while in the womb as a fetus. Archie wasn't created that way.

"Weird." Rorschach states in his rumbling rasp as he takes a quick look at what the boy is talking about.

Archie shrugs as he puts the shirt back down. "Oh well. At least I have a beating heart now." He smiles as he turns and places a hand over Rorschach's chest, the other over his own, smaller one. Rorschach visibly flinches, his dislike for contact apparent. "I always thought that, if I had a heart, I'd want it to have a pulse like yours, Rorschach. As a ship, I could feel your heartbeat through your seat when you gripped the armrests really hard. Yours was always faster than Dan's. Even now," he places the hand from his own chest to Daniel's, and has to stretch his arms as far as they can go since the two men are seated pretty far from one another on either side of him, "It's beating more like, _thumpthumpthump_ instead of, _ba-dump ba-dump ba-dump._" He removes his small, pale hands from both of them. "Is that because you're always pumped up on adrenaline? Or is it because you're scared of something?"

"Not scared of anything," Rorschach growls lowly. The kid and Dan didn't know it, but the fast-beating heart is Walter's fault. The other, non-hero half of him is very contradictory to the Rorschach half, because Walter admits to holding more sentimental feelings towards Daniel than Rorschach's strictly-business sentiments. In Walter's eyes, Daniel is a friend. A good friend, the kind you can find deep companionship in. But sometimes Rorschach wonders if those feelings will remain stagnant or if they will eventually evolve into something romantic. He shudders at the thought of homosexuality; it's both better and worse than his prostitute mother.

"Okay, so it must be the adrenaline," Archie thinks aloud to himself. He's enjoying all these small discoveries; each human experience is new to him, since his memory is nothing but that of an airship's.

For the next fifteen minutes, the three flip channels on the television. Rorschach appears to not want to be present, but Archie is chatting to him every so often and clinging comfortably to Dan, so Rorschach opts to linger a hair longer; at least for dinner, like Archie requested.

In the distance, the oven beeps. Daniel murmurs something to Archie, and the two leave the living room to enter the kitchen. Steadily, Rorschach gathers himself up and follows.

The kitchen is dimly lit, and Daniel is taking the pizza out and sliding it onto a pizza stone as Rorschach walks in. Archie retrieves three plates from a cupboard that Daniel gestures to. He sets the table, and begins searching for cups and something for the three of them to drink. He pours milk.

"This is so weird," Archie muses to himself in his high kid-voice. He sits down in the middle seat of the small table, leaving Rorschach and Dan to sit across form one another. "I really feel like I'm in a family."

There is a tenor hint of sadness in the higher pitches of his tone, and it drives the owl-obsessed man to stare at the boy as he lays the recently sliced pizza in the center of their triangle of plates. "You've always bee part of a family, Archie," Daniel says softly. "Only you were part of the family of mechanics I made. You just switched to the human part of the family, that's all."

"Right," Archie agree with a short nod of his shaggy-haired head. His gentle curls fall haphazardly onto the narrow plane of his forehead. He brushes the hair from his eyes with his hand. "So, who wants the first slice?"

Rorschach pauses in lifting his mask onto his nose. "Doesn't matter."

"Okay, then what about saying grace? On TV that one sitcom family said a prayer before –"

"Not religious," Rorschach grunts. He knows that Daniel has a slight religious background, although he rarely acts on it.

"Oh," Archie says, a bit disappointed. "Well, we'll just dig in, I guess."

Dan doesn't like seeing the poor kid downhearted, but he's not sure what to do to change that, so he simply takes two slices of pizza and a sip of his milk. His eyes wander to Rorschach's partially-exposed face, and notices for the first time the dusting of freckles at the base of his cheeks, above vaguely orange stubble. So the way Archie looks really is based on a mix between himself and his rugged partner; funny. Funny in that kinda-of-ironic way, since Rorschach seems like the last person who would produce a child with anyone. – Not that the way Archie was made into a child is at all normal…

The silence between the three is filled only with the sounds of mastication, all chomping jaws and licking lips. Then, before he gets his second slice, Archie states, "This tastes really, really good. What's it made out of?"

"Oh, um," Dan begins, startled out of bizarre thoughts, "The bottom is bread dough, the red stuff is tomato sauce, and the stringy stuff on top is mozzarella cheese. Oh, and the spicy circles are pepperoni."

"Hmm," Archie considers all of this mildly as he takes another bite. "Humans must be really smart, to think of such a yummy combination."

Daniel chuckles airily. "Yes, I guess some humans are." He glances up at Rorschach, whom is polishing off his third slice and beginning to tug down on his mask to cover his face. He stands. Startled, Daniel adds, "You know, you can stay the night… if you, er, want to. But you would have to sleep on the couch, because I have to give Archie the guest bedroom…" The brunet trails off with a nervous adjustment to his glasses.

Rorschach grunts noncommittally. But he pauses in his stepping, as if bearing the thought in mind. Then, monotonously, he states, "Can't."

"That's alright," Daniel shrugs, feeling like his offer had been more obligatory anyhow. "See you."

"Hnm," the other grumbles, and then he's exiting via the Nest entrance.

Archie makes a mock-pouting expression on his youthful face. "I suppose Daddy has to go to his day job in the morning, huh?" he remarks casually, but it's meant as a joke, because his pout is becoming a smile.

The newly reinstated hero laughs. "Yeah, I suppose he does." His smile droops into a frown. "Wait a minute. If he's 'Daddy', does that mean you're calling me the 'Mommy'?"

He sounds offended, and Archie winces. He raises his hands in defense. "I didn't say that," he says a tad shyly. "Although…"

"Don't even start," Daniel groans. "I know I'm a bit protective and easily worried about people, and I know that I made you, but I'm not going to be compared to a woman."

"I understand," Archimedes says with all honesty. He shoves his plate away and yawns. "And I'm tired. Can I go to bed?"

Daniel shakes his head and waves a hand. "Of 'course you can. I don't believe in curfews, since I never obeyed the ones set on me. Just go to bed when you feel like it."

Archie grins. "Thanks!" He hops off his chair and maneuvers around the table corner to kiss a surprised Dan on the cheek. "G'night!"

As the young lad scampers off, a goofy, heartwarming beam illuminates Dan's lips. He's never smiled like this before, and to think it's all because he's beginning to feel joy and warmth at the idea of having a child – _his _child – around the house. It's a sweet notion he never imagined he'd be able to have, due to his lack of girlfriends (or any sort of love life) and overabundance of (often painful) heroics.

Somehow, he gets the feeling that living with Archie is going to be exciting and more full-filling than it was when the boy was merely an airship.

**

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Next chapter:

Class Two: How To Clean


	3. Class Two: How To Clean

Class Two: How To Clean

Daniel Dreiburg drifts into fuzzy semi-consciousness in the morning to find a warm, smaller body curled up beside him. He snorts into full consciousness and sits up, not waking the little packet of heat, but staring at it in puzzlement as he attempts to recall what it is and how it got there.

It's after a minute or two that he remembers the events of the previous day, and recognizes the bundle of baggy clothes, skin and hair to be Archimedes.

Dan pinches the bridge of his nose and swallows hard to wet his dry throat, and as he brushes the sand from his eyelashes and wipes a hand over his oily face, he debates on whether or not he should wake the child or let him sleep.

But he doesn't need to decide, because suddenly another mouth makes smacking noises and yawns, and there's movement coming from the smaller of the two. "Nhn. 'Morning," Archie murmurs groggily. He rubs one eye with a teeny fist – and for a moment, Dan thinks only about how adorable and perfectly childish that is - and then proceeds to push himself up to sit beside his parental figure. "Sorry, but last night I got scared from something I saw when I was asleep, and I felt like I needed a hero with me." He shudders and clutches his knees. "I saw such awful stuff; all this blood splattered everywhere, and there were men with monsters' faces, and…" He sucks in air. "Was it real?" he asks finally, and dares to peer into Dan's chocolate-colored eyes.

It takes the middle-aged man a second to comprehend the fact that Archie's first dream was a nightmare.

"No," he answers softly, "None of that was real. It's what humans call nightmares; they happen sometimes when we sleep and our subconscious mind creates dreams, but those dreams take a turn for the worst." He feels the need to comfort the balled-up child, and decidedly brings him into his arms to cradle him.

Archie rests his head against Dan's shoulder, his nose turning into Dan's nightshirt to hide his face. "It was so scary," he whispers, his words muffled by clothing, "Because in that… _nightmare_... I couldn't find you, or Rorschach, to save me. I was left all alone with those horrid demon-things, and they were going to _kill_ me."

Dan rocks the young boy. "Shh, it's okay. It's all gone now; it wasn't real to begin with, so you're safe."

Archie sniffles, but he's not crying; he's just smelling, because he notices that his creator smells good, like clean sheets and nearly-worn-out aftershave, musky and crisp and homey. He wraps his arms around Daniel's torso. "You're really warm," Archie says idly. "This must be how all kids feel when they're with their parents. It's nice."

Dan smiles gently. "That's right. And all kids also feel hungry in the mornings." He lifts the boy off of him and stands, ignoring the cracks in his back and shoulder. "So how about breakfast? I can make you pancakes."

"Pancakes?"

Of 'course he's never heard of them. "You'll see," Daniel insists. "In the meantime, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

"Bathroom?" Archie parrots. "Is that why a spot below my tummy feels all pressured?"

Daniel nods. "Yeah, it means that your bladder is full. You need to empty it in the toilet."

"Oh, okay," Archie nods. He gets up and wanders down the hallway until he spots the bathroom. Daniel is right behind him, and shows him which appliance is the toilet, and tells him (with embarrassed awkwardness) how to go pee and wash his hands afterwards. It's a bizarre thing to tell someone, but all children have to be potty trained. It just seems odder than usual because Archie _looks_ like he's eleven or twelve and he _knows _a lot of adult-like things, but he's never been human before so he doesn't know the simple, everyday things.

While he takes care of business, Daniel migrates downstairs to the kitchen, where he readies a pan and begins constructing the pancake batter. Archie comes down to join him after a few minutes.

Right out of the gate, he wonders aloud, "Will Rorschach come over here today?"

Daniel hesitates in pouring the finishes batter into his awaiting pan containing sizzling butter. "Um… Honestly, I'm not sure. He seems to come by whenever he feels like it, and he only feels like it when he wants to go on patrol or eat my food or steal my sugar cubes." He sighs. "Rorschach is complicated in that way."

"Oh, I see," Archie hums. "Makes sense, I guess." He swirls one finger on the tabletop, tracing a line in the wood with his nail. "I wish he could live here with us."

Daniel freezes in place this time, and nearly burns the first side of the first pancake. While flipping it, he clears his throat. "Ahem; uh, I doubt he'd ever agree with something like that; Rorschach isn't… well, he doesn't like socializing with people very much, so I doubt he'd want to live with someone. _Anyone._"

"…That must be lonely," Archie murmurs sorrowfully.

This is a thought that has only crossed Daniel's mind once in a blue moon. "Mm," he nods to himself, "I'd imagine that it would be."

Archie looks up as Daniel places the first steaming pancake on a plate in front of the boy. He drizzles syrup on top. "But if he's lonely, why wouldn't he want to stay with us longer?"

"I'm not sure, Archie," Daniel murmurs as he returns to the stove to pour another. Behind him, Archie takes a bite, hums in pleasure, and continues eating with renewed gusto. "Like I said, Rorschach is… complicated."

"Well, on a side note, these taste much better than pizza," Archie grins with sticky maple around his mouth. "It's _sweeter_."

"That's why they call them pan_cakes_," Daniel laughs. "Because cake is sweet."

"I really like cake now," Archie remarks as he eagerly digs into the second pancake Daniel makes for him. "It should be part of _every_ meal."

xXx

Following his morning coffee, Dan soon discovers that Archie got maple syrup on him in more places than merely the front of his shirt and on his face; he also somehow managed during the process of consuming his breakfast to get the sticky substance on his arms, pant-less legs, and on the tips of his shaggy, brown-orange hair.

"…You need a bath," Daniel realizes as soon as they are both done eating. He sighs. "But I bet you don't know how to bathe, do you?"

"Um, not really," Archie giggles. "Why, is it important?"

"Immensely so," Dan points out as he dumps the last of his coffee into the sink and turns around to lean against the counter. "It's how humans stay clean and nice-smelling. I take a shower every single day."

"Shower? But you said 'bath'."

The tall brunet nods. "I did. That's because older people generally stand when they bathe, and let a shower rain down on them; kids, on the other hand, sit down in a tub instead. Luckily for us, I have a shower-tub combo in my bathroom, because otherwise you'd have to learn to take a shower, which is decidedly less complicated than sitting in a pool of water." He scrubs his hair for a moment. "But this is going to be a little weird for me; I've never bathed someone before, let alone a prepubescent child."

"I promise to be good," Archie pipes up as he hops down from his chair. "I'm not _that_ young, so it's not like I'll be kicking and screaming the whole time."

Daniel shrugs. "True enough." He leans off of the counter and begins walking out of the kitchen doorway to the upstairs bathroom. "Follow me, squirt."

"Heehee, 'squirt'! I like that! It makes me sound short and squishy and loveable." Archie begins skipping down the hall and attempting to take the stairs two at a time, his hands balancing him as they grip the rail. When he finally reaches the bathroom entrance, he watches as Daniel pours body wash into a running stream of water leading from the faucet into the tub. The body wash is mildly fragrant, reminding Archie briefly of mandarin oranges, apple, and cinnamon; a cider scent. Why Dan had such a sweet-smelling soap product was beyond Archie, but he was grateful for it, because those are the smells that he wouldn't mind being known for.

"While the tub fills up and gets all sudsy, we can get you out of those sugary clothes." He turns around and walks on his knees to the little boy. Ignoring privacy (because this isn't weird or awkward at all, Archie is just a kid, right, right…), Dan unbuttons his shirt that Archie is wearing, and lets it fall to the floor. He then instructs Archie to remove his too-big boxers, and tells him to wait here as he exits – shutting the bathroom door behind him – and takes the used clothing to his washer and dryer, and immediately starts a load of whites, setting the boxers in a pile of colors.

When he returns upstairs, Archie is hunched over the bathtub, peering into the raising bubbles and clear water. One foot is tapping against the tile in amusement while the other digs its toes into the rug around the toilet. "What are those, Dan?" he asks as he points a finger and pops a large bubble.

"Those are suds," Daniel explains as he moves to seat himself on the closed toilet lid. "I made a bubble-bath for you."

"Bubbly baths look fun," the once-airship grins.

"I always liked them when I was a kid," Daniel smiles. An idea occurs to him. "Wait right here, I'll be right back."

"Okay."

The Nite Owl successor flies out the room and down the hall to his bedroom. He clambers into his large closet and searches through clothing and shoes and belts until he finds what he's looking for in an old shoebox. Returning to the bathroom where his new responsibility sits, he withdraws from behind his back a small toy sailboat. "When I was a kid, my mom let me play with this when I took a bath or went to the pool or beach. Most kids have a rubber ducky… but I had a squeaky owl and this boat. I can't find the owl, but there's always this."

Archie's eyes light up tenfold. "Wow, it's so cool!" He reaches his hands out to hold it, and Daniel places it in his son's grip. "I like the design."

It's a simple little sailboat with red and blue sails – two triangles pieces together to make one larger triangle – and a yellow base with black letter that read, 'S.S. Marian'.

While Archie admires it, Dan checks the temperature of the water and shuts off the faucet. "Alright, squirt, it's time to climb in. It'll be a little hot at first, but you'll get used to it."

"Yay!" Archie cheers as he drops the boat in – hearing a satisfying _plop_ – and slowing steps into the suds and water himself. He lowers his body in increments, shivering every now and then with goosebumps rising on his flesh. "Ooh, it feels good," he sighs once he's completely submerged from toe to waist.

Dan beams down at the boy, admiring his innocence. "Well then, let's get started," he says, and picks up a clean washcloth, dips it in the soap and water, and begins rubbing gently at Archie's face.

"Heehee, that tickles," Archie giggles as soon as Dan moves on to his thin neck and collar bones. After a minute, he asks, "Is it working? Is all the syrup going away?"

"Totally," Dan remarks as he dunks the washcloth in the water again and turns it over to use the other side. "Here, lay back on the wall and lift your knee so I can get the syrup on your lap."

"Okay," Archie agrees simply. He watches as Dan removes the brown goop in three swipes, and moves onto the other leg. "Let me try!" he says.

"If you want to," Dan shrugs, and hands the washcloth to Archie.

The boy studies it for a minute – it's merely a small square of thick, fuzzy fabric the same brown as an owl's feathers – and then places it on his leg and, with both hands, scrubs up and down on his thigh until there are pink scratch lines down his lightly freckled, pale skin. But the syrup is gone.

"Not so hard," Daniel teaches softly. "You don't want to hurt yourself."

"Gotcha," Archie nods. He tries again on his forearms, whose undersides by his elbow are sticky with syrup from leaning over his plate with them. He scrubs those, too, except gentler this time and with more suds. Once clean all over, he smiles. "Now what?"

"We wash your hair," the brunet informs him. He wrings out the washcloth and drapes it over a bar above Archie's head in the tub. He gets down his shampoo from the hanging rack around the showerhead. The shampoo is Head and Shoulders, for Dan's pesky dandruff. He doesn't get it any longer, but it's only thanks to the shampoo and conditioner itself. "Now, I want you to close your eyes so that the shampoo doesn't get in them; trust me, it burns really badly if you get it in your eyes."

"Okay," Archie says once again, always so trusting.

Once the boy's eyes are shut, the new father cups his hands and dumps water over Archie's head to fully wet his hair. Then Dan squeezes until a blob about as big as a quarter and a nickel is squirted onto his palm. He rubs his hands together before threading them through Archie's thick, wet locks. He lathers the shampoo until Archie's head is white with suds. "Keep them closed," he reminds, and moves to turn on the faucet and slowly lower Archie into the running water, half-laying him down to rinse out the shampoo. Once it's gone, he doesn't bother with the conditioner, merely drains some of the dirtied water while fresh, steamy water refills the tub. After that, he stands and dries his arms and cleans his glasses. "Okay, Archie, we're all done getting you clean, but I'll leave you to yourself to play for a little while as I pick out some clothes for you to wear. Be sure not to spill any water outside of the tub; it's not good for the linoleum."

"Okee-dokee, Dad! – Uh, I mean, 'Dan'."

Daniel smiles. "No, it's okay, you can call me 'Dad' if you want to. I don't mind 'Dad'; it's 'Mom' that I have a problem with."

Archie giggles. "Gotcha."

He then closes the door, listening to Archie beginning to hum to himself and splash a bit. Walking into his room, he chuckles quietly for a second, because all of this is unbelievable and wonderful at the same time.

He finds some older, smaller clothing from when he was, uh, _more in shape._ As the brunet turns to take these clothes out of the room, he stops dead in his tracks in front of his bedroom doorway.

Rorschach is standing in the hall, hands in his coat pockets, in broad daylight. Straight away he inquires, "Where's the kid?"

"Oh, um, he's taking a bath. Wh-what are you doing here so early?"

Rorschach grunts and glances away, decidedly in the direction of the bathroom. He doesn't want to admit it, but he came because he actually got the urge to see the brat. He was somewhat fond of Archie before, but now that he's an innocent with breathing lungs and beating heart, it's like he's become much more valuable. To protect, that is. You can't let evil touch a child, after all. Especially not a child that's partially _yours._

The masked man stares down at the bundle of clothes in Daniel's hands. "Hnk. Can make clothes that fit him better."

"You… can?"

"Made own uniform, can make someone else's. Kid deserves something that suits him; was thinking something along the lines of a '50's air pilot, with scarf and leather jacket and flying-ace pants," Rorschach states idly, as if it's nothing to make clothes for some child, and clothes that are themed nonetheless. – Stated as if he doesn't really notice that he's showing a form of affection by wanting to help out.

"Uh… sure, that sounds great," Daniel says weakly, a lopsided smile slowly quirking his lips. "Thanks, Rorschach. That's very _thoughtful_ of you."

"Humph," the other retorts. He nods to the collection of fabrics in Dan's hands. "Can use those to make clothes?"

"If you think they'll work," he shrugs. He hands the bundle over, and watches as Rorschach inspects them for a second prior to turning on his heel and marching down the stairs, most likely to the Nest.

Shaking his head at the absurdity of it all, Dan returns to the bathroom to find Archie staring at his fingers.

"What's up, squirt?"

"There's something wrong, Dad!" he bursts out. He shoves his hands in Daniel's direction. "Look! My fingertips are getting wrinkly! Am I turning old?"

The tall brunet can't help but to release a chuckle. "No, you're not turning old, silly; that prune-effect happens when you stay in the water too long. It'll go away after some time out of the tub."

"Then get me outta here!" Archie wails, standing up and sloshing the water around in the bathtub. "I don't want to become a prune!"

Chuckling still, Dan nods and yanks a towel out of the small cabinet near the door, and as Archie steps out onto the mat, he wraps the fluffy cloth around the boy. He feels Archie shiver into the towel, and as he rubs him down to dry and warm him, Dan hears Archie sigh.

"Something wrong?" Daniel wonders aloud.

Archie shrugs as Dan lets go of the towel and Archie holds it around his shoulders like a blanket. "I miss Rory."

Trying not to laugh at the nickname, Daniel smiles and says, "Actually, he's right down the stairs. He came over a few minutes ago – just popped up out of nowhere! – and said that he'd make some clothes for you."

"Wow, really?!" Archie bounces excitedly. "That's awesome! So I'm going to get to see my other dad _and_ have new clothes of my own?"

"That's right," Daniel confirms, choosing to ignore the implications of a child having two fathers. "So while we wait for him to finish them, you can wear my robe and we can put in a movie. I think I have one or two child-safe VHS tapes around here somewhere…"

'Child-safe,' as opposed to violent or sexual or boring movies, like of the R-rated and documentary tapes that Daniel owns.

"Whee~!" the young boy exclaims, and Daniel struggles to get his robin-egg-blue robe onto Archie.

When they arrive downstairs, Rorschach is missing but Daniel doesn't say anything, so Archie doesn't, either. The boy bounds onto the couch cushions and snuggles into the robe and pillows around him while Dan searches for a VHS tape that Archie can watch. He suddenly wishes that he owned at least _one _Disney film.

He locates _The Goonies_, a newer film from this year, 1985. It's rated PG, so it's 'child safe'… relatively. There are still a few themes in it that are possibly worthy of the rating PG-13.

"Here we go," he says, and pops in the tape, fast-forwards the previews, and plays it when it reaches the "feature presentation" screen. He then bunkers down beside Archie, and without delay, the boy curls up next to him. It's comfortable, and while the movie plays Archie will ask the occasional question about something said or done or shown, and Dan answers each one to the best of his ability, given the limited vocabulary he can use so that each term is easily understood by the young boy.

Approximately halfway through the film, Rorschach enters the room and tosses a pair of underwear, a shirt, and pants in Archie's lap. The boy sits up, distracted from the movie, and grins broadly. "Wow, these look great!" He runs up to Rorschach and forces a quick hug on him before he can protest, and in the act earns a curt 'ennk!' from the vigilante. "Thank you!!"

Daniel watches as Archie rushes off to put on the clothing in another room, remembering to be modest and not strip off the robe in front of them. When he returns, he does a small spin so that the two older men can make sure that each piece fits properly. The pants are a bit long, but their style is meant to be tucked into boots, so it's nothing. For now, Archie rolls them up at the bottom.

Dan leans in closely to study the shirt. "These stitches are flawless," he comments lightly, his tone resembling that of sheer awe. "Where did you learn to make clothes like this, Rorschach?"

"Not important," the other snaps back. He's inexplicably flushing beneath his mask, not at all used to his day-job accomplishments being appreciated. "What is important is boy having proper clothes. Will bring a jacket tomorrow." He looks at Dan. "Should make a helmet for him. Goggles as well. Might need them."

"For what?" Daniel frowns in confusion.

"For justice!" Archie sing-songs as he spins around in his new clothes, the movie forgotten. "I told you, I wanna help you as soon as you're ready to start fighting again! But we have to be sneaky," he adds in a mysterious tone, "Very sneaky-sneaky. We don't want the police finding out that we're breaking the law. The Keene Act or whatever, right? I heard of it, back when I was still… uh… not a human." He shrugs. "But we can do it, right? We're masters of… um, being sneaky!"

Daniel observes a few of Archie's mock-ninja moves, which are supposed to be graceful and silent, but with his clumsy child body, are turned extremely messy and noisy. He ends up falling to the ground in a fit of giggles. And then he exhales wistfully, simply lying on the carpet and staring up at Rorschach.

"Why don't you ever take off your mask, Rorschach?" the child questions sweetly. "We're a family now, and we should trust each other."

"Do trust," Rorschach responds, but there's a hint of meekness in his tone. He shifts uncomfortably on his feet. "Trust is not limited to secret identities."

"But knowing someone's secret identity is part of trust, isn't it?" Archie points out. "So pleeeease, Rorschach? Won't you show Dan what you look like? I know, and I think he should, too."

Daniel blinks, amazed by Archie's straightforwardness. But then again, most children are just as blunt and curious and based on everything being 'fair'. His gaze falls on Rorschach, whom seems torn; he can see it in the blots shifting over furrowed brows, like storm clouds gathering over conflicted eyes.

"Sugar cube?" Rorschach says finally, and he holds out one of the individually wrapped cubes from his coat pocket. It's meant to take the spotlight off of him.

It works.

"Ooh! Yes, please!" Archie squeaks in a chipper tone. He leaps up and takes the offered sweet, unwrapping it and popping it in his mouth, a distinct _ronchronchronch_ sound emitting from behind his thin lips. The whole action is so much like Rorschach that Daniel can't help but to grin.

Daniel stands, stops the tape and turns off the TV, and then asks the other two males, "So, who wants to help me start the blueprints for the new airship?"

"Oh, oh! I do, I do!" Archie screams, and waves his arms around. The sugar kicking into his system, he races off towards the Nest. "And I got _tons_ of good ideas, too!"

"Fantastic," Dan smiles softly. He walks past Rorschach to catch up with his son, but pauses when he's alongside his partner. "He's quite the handful, isn't he?"

"Hurm. More like entire _arm_ful," Rorschach replies stiffly. He adjusts his coat collar as Dan begins walking again, following the other's lead into the Nest.

Daniel clasps his hands together. "Well, with or without Archie around, it's time to get to work. I want to be ready to go patrolling by the end of the week! I really do miss being able to help people. My weekly visits with Hollis have shown me that much."

**

* * *

**

Next chapter:

Class Three: How To Interact


	4. Class Three: How To Interact

Class Three: How To Interact

Archie has been sitting here for _far_ too long. Rolling his eyes, he walks over to one of his parents and tugs on his clothing. "Rorschach, I'm bored…"

The man hardly moves. "Hht. Don't care. Go bother Dan about it."

"…_Fine,_" he groans. He walks across the messy workshop to sit on the stairs beside his other parent. "Dan?"

"Hmm?" he hums in acknowledgement.

"Are you done yet?"

"No, Archie."

"…Can I help?"

"Not now, Archie. But you can later."

His tiny stomach growls. "…Um, I'm hungry."

"I'll make lunch in a minute, Archie."

"But it's almost dinnertime!" Archie complains.

"Then I'll make dinner," Dan shrugs.

"…Soon?"

"Soon."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"Okay. I'll wait a little bit longer, then."

"Good."

"…And Dan?"

"Yes?"

"I think I hear the doorbell."

"D-doorbell?!" Dan stutters, and ends up dropping a ruler onto the floor, the metal ruler clanking on the cement. "Shit." He takes long strides up to the stairs, where Archie is sitting, and climbs them two at a time as he pops up into the kitchen and storms down the hallway to the front door, which is indeed being rung. The door flies open as he welcomes the unknown guest behind the door.

"Hi, Dan!" a woman's voice says in greeting. Laurie stands on his porch, a sleek bronze coat around her shoulders but not threaded around her arms. She's in a dark pencil skirt with a flowing blouse, and big earrings are dangling down in between her long, bone-straight hair. "I finally squeezed the entire story from Jon, and he suggested that I come and check in on little Archie. Oh! Is this him?"

Daniel glances down at his side, which is suddenly heated by small hands gripping his shirt and standing close. He smiles. "Yeah, this is him. Say hello to Laurie, Archie."

He steps out into the open as Laurie steps into the house. While Dan closes the door behind her, she leans over with her hands on her knees and says, "Hello, sweetie. You can call me Aunt Laurie."

"I know you," Archie says, blinking his big brown eyes at her. "You're one of the Watchmen like Dan. I've seen you before, when I was still a ship. You wore the tight yellow and black costume."

She flushes vaguely. "So you remember all of that?" she asks, a small chuckle emitting from her lips. "Gee, don't I feel silly. You must think I looked stupid in all of that leather and lace."

"No, you looked pretty," Archie contradicts with a bright smile. "But you look prettier in normal clothes."

She raises a dark eyebrow. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," Archie giggles.

Laurie laughs with him, and stands back up to full height to ruffle his hair. "My, you sure are cute! Where'd you get those good looks from?"

"Dan and Rory! Their DNA made me," Archie answers with pride. "I even have my own fingerprints! But not a belly button; I don't have one of those," he adds a bit forlornly.

"Aw, that's okay; belly buttons are ugly anyway," Laurie tells him. Her smile isn't fading. "God, you're so adorable. I just want to eat you up!"

"You can, if you like," Archie tells her, and opens his arms wide for a hug. "I like affection. It feels nice."

"Alright, if you insist," the second Silk Spectre coos, and scoops Archie up into her arms. He wraps his scrawny legs around her hips and nuzzles his face into her neck, his arms clasped around her shoulders.

"You smell like flowers, Auntie Laurie," Archie informs her, and behind them, Daniel chuckles.

"That's my perfume," Laurie explains.

"Why doesn't Dan smell like flowers?" he wants to know.

Daniel is really laughing now. Laurie, too. She pets Archie's hair and explains further. "Men don't like smelling girly. Flowers are girly. Men like to smell musky or citrus-y instead."

"Well, I don't like that. If I have to smell like something, I want to smell sweet, like apple cider."

"That's funny," Laurie says, "Because, come to think of it, you _do_ smell like apples and cinnamon. Oranges, too."

Archie grins and leans back enough to look Laurie in the face. "That's 'cause I got a bath today, and Dan has this really good bubble bath soap that smells like that."

"Oh, I get it now," she coos, and rubs her nose against the small freckled one. She half-turns towards Daniel, whose arms are folded over his chest and eyes are shining with a sort of hidden mirth. "God, Dan, you're so lucky to have a kid. I know the circumstances aren't normal or ideal, but he's so sweet. I wish Jon and I could have kids, but so far, nothing's happened."

"I wonder why not?" Daniel muses aloud, and Archie gestures to him. Without having to ask, Laurie hands the prepubescent boy to one of his fathers. Archie clings to Dan's broader shoulders and less toned middle.

"I wonder, too," Laurie sighs. She glances around, and nearly leaps out of her skin when she spots Rorschach leaning in the entrance to the Nest. "Ohmigod! – Jeez, Rorschach, don't _do_ that."

"Not doing anything," he replies. "Not at blame for your unobservant eyes." He leans off of the doorframe and steps into the kitchen. "Should make dinner, Daniel. Have guest now, and child is hungry."

"Oh, that's right! I'm sorry, Archie." He sets the boy down, getting a small, 's'okay, you were working' from him. Dan then looks to Laurie. "What would you like to eat?"

"Anything is fine, Dan," she says, waving it aside like it doesn't matter. "And what were you working on?"

"Uh, I'm designing a new airship. It won't be as obvious as Archie was, and will have different gadgets," Daniel answers, and there's a kind of eagerness in his voice.

"Not as obvious? Do you mean that it _won't_ look like an owl?" she jokes.

Daniel laughs nervously and adjusts his glasses. "Yeah, actually. That's exactly what I meant."

"Oh." She's taken aback. "That's… different. For you, anyway. Why are you changing it?"

"Because…" He wonders if he should lie, if only for the purpose of not sounding as much as a goodie-two-shoes as he is. He can feel everyone's eyes on him, including Rorschach's. He sighs. "Because I don't want to get caught. The Keene Act is still in effect, after all. It's illegal for me to dress up and run around the city battling crime. But… I want to. It's time to reunite the Rorschach and Nite Owl team."

"Plus the Brown Baron! Or Air-Pilot Archie… I haven't decided yet," the once-ship puts in, one of his fists thrusting into the air in a victory pose. "I'm going to get a costume, too, Auntie Laurie; Daddy – uh, I mean Rorschach – is going to make me the rest of it. I'm wearing part of it right now. All I need is the jacket, boots, and scarf, and I'm all set! Well, I need the helmet and goggles, too, but Mo– I mean Dan – is going to make those for me."

He tried to correct himself, but Laurie caught the accidental titles that Rorschach and Daniel were being referred to. She smirks. "So it's true, then? This really is becoming one big family; Archie is the baby, Rorschach is the Daddy and Dan –" she suppresses a laugh "– is the Mommy."

Her bright eyes pan over to the two adult males, and she watches with satisfaction (much like the Comedian when he watches the responses to his own jokes) as Dan blushes and begins to state that he is most certainly not a woman or motherly figure, and even Rorschach's mask has blossoms of black ink burning across the middle of his face.

Rorschach clears his throat. "Dinner, Daniel," he reminds his partner in order to change the subject.

Thankful for the interruption, Daniel spins on his heel away from a giggling Laurie and starts to gather the pans he will need to make a pasta dinner. Simple fettuccini with alfredo sauce, and on a whim, a side of frozen broccoli.

There is a mild silence filled with bits of unsteady conversation while Daniel fusses over the stove to make supper. There is also the vague question, 'Why is Rorschach bothering to stay?' since on normal circumstances, he would leave relatively quickly if Laurie showed up anywhere he was. They don't get along very well.

As the four sit down at Dan's small table to eat, Laurie flashes a smile to the youngest of them all and asks to sit next to him. Archie nods vigorously. "Of 'course you can sit here, Auntie Laurie! I want you to sit next to me."

"Thanks, munchkin," she chuckles. "You're too sweet." She looks to Dan as she sits down and picks up her fork. "You taught him manners already, huh?"

"Not really," Daniel admits. "I guess he must've picked them up when he was still a ship… or something. He could just be naturally polite."

"Well _duh,_ I'm naturally polite to pretty girls; I am your son, right, Dan?" Archie teases.

Daniel fidgets with his glasses, and Rorschach rolls his eyes from under the confines of his mask. Laurie seems to be amused, but doesn't make a move to laugh or smile, simply continues eating.

"This is delicious, Dan," she compliments as she dabs some sauce from the corner of her mouth.

"It's nothing," he murmurs, embarrassed. "I hardly did a thing."

Laurie laughs. "Well, it's more than I can do."

xXx

"It was nice having you visit, Laurie," Dan smiles politely as he sees the long-haired brunette to the door. "Feel free to come back any time."

"I will," she smiles gently, and just as she turns to leave, Archie comes flying seemingly out of nowhere and grabs onto her hips (he's too short to reach up much farther).

"Bye, Auntie Laurie," he says into her skirt. "Promise to visit again soon?"

"I promise," she coos, and scoops up the thin boy into her arms and gives his cheek a small kiss. He blushes politely. She sets him onto the wooden floor once more. "God, I wouldn't miss watching you grow up for the world. I _swear _on my _life_ that I will visit very, very soon."

"Hurray!" Archie cheers. He waves as she says her final goodbyes and the door is closed behind her. The freckled boy turns to Daniel. "Dan, I think Rory went into the Nest. Should we follow him?"

The brunet man glances in the direction of the basement entrance and rubs his slightly stubbly chin. "Um… yeah, I think we should. The night is young, so I can get plenty of work done before morning. But you, squirt," he reprimands as he leans down a tad, "Can't stay up too late. I know I said that I don't believe in curfews, but I also know that I will be up much too late for you. So the minute that you're tired, scurry off to bed, got me?"

"Got you!" Archie nods exuberantly. He gives Dan a thumbs-up prior to racing off into the Nest.

Daniel lingers behind for a minute longer. He shakes his head, wondering how such a child was born from a mixture of his and Rorschach's genetics. He's sure neither of them was as energetic as Archimedes when they were about the same age. But he couldn't be more grateful, because he did secretly wants kids, and Archie has the proper amount of innocence and childish mannerisms for his age to suit Dan.

Although Dan does wonder what Rorschach must think of all of this; perhaps, when Archie goes to bed, he might be free to ask the other vigilante himself.


	5. Class Four: How To Share

**A/N: Sorry about the long wait, everybody, but I've been having computer and inspiration issues, haha. But i'm back on this story, since it is fully mapped out and is planned to be eleven 'classes' long. All there is to do now is to finish writing what I started! Easy enough, right? Meh, I sure hope so.**

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Class Four: How To Share

Daniel shuts the door quietly behind himself. At this very moment, Archie is tucked safely and soundly into bed. Daniel had to tell the boy a story in order to get him to go to sleep (it was getting rather late, and although he doesn't believe in curfews, Den does believe in young ones getting proper rest). He doesn't have any fairy tales memorized off the top of his head, so he had to improvise… by telling Archie the details of a time when he and Rorschach caught a chain of drug-dealing illegal immigrants in their early crime fighting years.

The tale itself isn't boring, but Dan figures that he must have told it lamely, because it put Archie to sleep not halfway through.

Shaking his head, the brunet steps away from the door and tiredly steps down the stairway to the kitchen. He finds Rorschach there, idly munching on a sugar cube. "Told child story of old glory days. That supposed to be comforting?"

"It got him to sleep, didn't it?" Daniel says defensively. "Anyhow, it was all I could think of. I don't know much about Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty or Hansel and Gretel. At least, I don't know enough to remember how they end."

"Humph," Rorschach grunts, "Simple. Brother's Grimm versions have bittersweet endings. Cinderella's stepsisters cut off parts of own feet to fit into glass slippers, get found out. Cinderella lives happily ever after with prince. Same with Sleeping Beauty; is asleep for years, then gets kissed and spell is broken. Hansel and Gretel is my favorite. Hansel about to be eaten by witch, Gretel steps in and throws witch into oven, roasts the green wench alive. Good tale; irony is not too different from real life."

"Then next time, you can tell the fairy tales," Daniel mutters as he plops into a chair at the table and rubs his temples. "But can you try not to go into too much detail with the gory parts? I don't think Archie is old enough."

"Probably witnessed worse. Was our main transport, if you remember. Must've hovered nearby enough times to see the bodies we made drop to the ground," Rorschach points out as he pops another sugar cube into his mouth. As dessert or a snack or out of habit, Dan will never know.

The brunet looks uncomfortable. "The bodies _you _laid down on the ground. I didn't kill people."

"That's right. You were too soft. Still are, Daniel."

"I have to be! I have a kid now," the brunet retorts, although he isn't sure if this is an excuse or not. "Speaking of which, what do you think about all of this? I know you feel obligated to help out with Archie because he has part of your DNA as well, but do you even like him?"

Rorschach becomes silent for a couple minutes. He doesn't even ronch on another cube. "Archimedes is good kid," he says, and Dan can hear new warmth in Rorschach's rough voice that wasn't there before. It sounds more like who he expects Rorschach is under the mask, or who he used to be before the Blair Roche case. "Has pure heart, more than most kids. Deserves a chance to be alive."

"Unlike most humans, huh?" Daniel mumbles, half expecting Rorschach to add this statement.

Rorschach nods, and Daniel's expectations aren't let down. Then, Rorschach surprises the brunet by saying, "Want to spend time with Archie tomorrow. Get to know him. Teach him ways to develop detective skills early."

"Are you… asking permission to borrow him for the day?" the second Nite Owl questions. A small ray of hope blossoms within him, because this could mean that Rorschach isn't as callous and insane as Dan originally thought.

"Not permission. Don't need to _ask, _Daniel; Archie is also my kid. Simply informing. I will be taking him out tomorrow, but out of costume so not suspicious. Don't follow," he adds darkly. "Will reveal self to you later. Tomorrow is for Archie."

"It's alright with me! I'm just glad that you want to be with him for a while," Daniel grins. "It's surprisingly considerate of you."

Rorschach stiffens. "Am not a heartless monster, Daniel."

And Dan suddenly catches the other's drift: _I can't believe you think so little of me. I'm not that insane, or cruel. It hurts to hear you imply that, Daniel. _"Oh…" the brunet sighs, "Rorschach, I didn't mean –"

"Doesn't matter," the masked man grumbles. "Just learn to say what you truly mean, got it?"

Dan nods sheepishly. "Yeah, I got it."

"Hurm. Good. Will be going now." And he shoves his hands in his pockets and heads for the door.

"G'night, Rorschach," Daniel mutters, but too late. Rorschach is gone.

xXx

The following morning is dim and dreary with New York smog and rainclouds, minus the droplets of falling water. But Archie is bright and cheery enough to make up for the lack of sun.

"Yay, I get to be alone with Rory today!" he hollers as soon as Daniel tells him the news.

Daniel helps Archie into some fresh clothes (conveniently left on the front stoop early this morning, with a note reading: _Found some decent clothes in woman's diaper bag left after her murder. Thought they might fit Archimedes. Don't worry; woman's children are safe at relative's home with plenty more clothes. .][. _). Luckily, Rorschach's assumption had been correct; the clothes do fit Archie, and are appropriate for the current weather. The little eleven-or-so year old is cutely dressed in light-colored denim jeans with a red t-shirt featuring an U.S. shuttlecraft blasting off from the bottom right corner. There was even a pair of unworn tennis shoes in the diaper bag, and at the moment, Archie is modeling them.

"These are socool! Look, Dad, they light up!" Archie giggles as he stomps his feet. The grey-and-silver tennis shoes spark with red lights on the soles.

The middle-aged man smiles warmly. "I can see that. I almost feel bad for taking them from someone; they must've been expensive."

Archie shrugs as he wriggles his toes in the shoes. "It's okay; you can't feel bad for someone who's dead, and besides, her kids are cared for. Rory even said so, and he never lies."

Daniel is momentarily stunned by Archie's maturity on such a topic. But as soon as he's serious the boy is silly once more, and Dan can't help but to shake his head. "Listen, Archie, I've got to go grocery shopping. You said you know what Rorschach looks like under his mask, right?"

"Uh-huh," Archie nods enthusiastically.

"Good. Then when you see him at the door, let him in. But only him, got it? No one else, especially not any strangers. I would do it myself, but, y'know… he doesn't want me to see him unmasked yet. So I decided to do my grocery shopping now, while he's expected to come pick you up."

"Okay," Archie says, fully understanding Daniel's explanation. "Make sure to get ice cream! I want to know what ice cream tastes like," he adds.

The brunet man chuckles. "I will." He scoops up his keys and heads for the door. "Bye now, Archie. Behave yourself."

"Wait!" the small reddish-brown-haired boy calls out as he comes thudding up behind Daniel. He crashes into Daniel's stomach as the man turns around. "You forgot to hug me goodbye," he says softly.

"Oh," Dan murmurs. "Sorry, Archie. This is still new to me." And he embraces the thinner body, his arms lifting Archie up to chest-height to give him a better angle.

Archie squeezes with all of his frail might. "I know it is, but you better get used to it, Mister; 'cause I wanna have a hero family, but I want a normal-ish and loving family, too."

"And I want you to have that," Daniel agrees as he sets Archie down. "So I'll be sure to remember next time."

"Good," Archie grins, and he scampers off into the living room. "Bye, Dad!"

As Daniel hears the television turn on, he smiles to himself and shuts the front door, making sure to lock it securely. It's technically not wise to leave a child under the age of thirteen alone in a house in New York, but Daniel knows that Archie will be safe. After all, the boy is smart enough to hide in the Nest if necessary, and Rorschach will be coming along soon to take him away anyhow. So what harm could come of it?

xXx

Archie is entertaining himself with reruns of Scooby-Doo when an intrusive knock sounds from the front door. As quiet as a mouse, the boy gets up from his chair and cautiously creeps to the door, hiding himself from any windows as he peers through the mail slot.

"Hmn. Would've been more effective if you had used the peephole in door and not mail slot; can see slot flap move, and it gives you away," a gruff voice informs the boy from somewhere above the scuffed black shoes he can see from the slot. "Can't even see face from down there, anyway."

The voice is notably less like road gravel after a harsh winter, but still recognizably Rorschach. Archie grins and throws open the door to find a freckled carrot-top in clothing a grade above 'hobo'. The man peers down at Archie, but his icy blue eyes are oddly soft.

"Come on, kid. Have many things to show you today. Get jacket on."

"Rorschach!" Archie blurts before he can stop himself. He leaps forward, and being a little more than a whole head shorter, falls against the man's chest as he attempts to hug him.

"Hurk!" Rorschach – no, only Walter now – grunts. He freezes on contact. "Don't. Touch."

"Oops! Sorry," Archie apologizes as he immediately releases the man. "I just got too excited."

"I'll say," the other man growls. He straightens himself as he scolds, "Don't say name out loud, people might hear. All walls have hears, and all windows have eyes. Keep other identity to yourself. Just call me Walter. Or 'Father,' I suppose. Name doesn't matter much, what matters is _secret_ _identity._ Understand?"

Archie nods solemnly. "I understand." A cheerful expression consumes the boy's face. "So… does that mean I can call you Walty, or Wally? Or… Oh! Can I call you _Daddy_?"

"No. Walter or Father. 'Dad' I can stand. But will not tolerate cutesy versions ending in 'y'," Walter grumbles. "Demeaning to be called anything else. Now, get on coat. We have to go."

"Righteo, Dad," Archie salutes. He turns on his heel, leaving Walter standing in the doorway. He grabs one of the jackets that Dan gave him, an old one from when Dan was about ten years younger. It is baggy and sags just about everywhere, hanging down to Archie's knees, but it is warm and smells homey. "Okay, I'm all set. Let's go!"

A tad reluctantly, Walter takes Archie's hand (which is covered by a floppy coat sleeve) and leads him out the door. They start onto the street, with Walter looking as blank-faced and silent as ever, and Archie smiling and humming to himself.

"So… where are we headed first?" the prepubescent child wants to know.

"Dumpster. Have to show you how to hide uniform. Unlike Daniel, don't have secret basement to keep things in. Have to improvise. Can't stow it in apartment; police or landlady or neighbors might find it, steal it. So, found another hiding place: abandoned alleyway with old dumpster. Perfect place to hide face, coat, gloves, hat, suit, and shoes. I'll show you," Walter enlightens the young boy.

"Cool!" Archie grins, "Now I'll know what to do in case I'm in a foreign city and have to hide my costume during the day."

"Precisely," the tough vigilante responds with a curt nod. Inwardly, he's impressed that the boy could deduct as much so soon. He points a fingerless, forest green-colored gloved hand toward a side street. "This way."

Archie follows without question, his eager giddiness getting the best of him. "But… if you're hiding it in a dumpster, how do you keep your costume from getting dirty?"

"Will show you when we get there." Walter replies curtly.

Archie nods a bit glumly, wanting instant answers. "Okay…"

They take two more turns before they are in the correct alleyway, a place not too far from Dan's home, most likely for convenience. Walter takes them to a specific dumpster, outside of a tavern or a restaurant of some sort. Walter then pens the dumpster, rummages around in it for a moment, and then brings out a shiny black trash bag with blue drawstrings. Faintly, on the bottom of the bag, in black permanent marker, is Rorschach's initial, an R reflected and marked with a period on either side.

"Trash bag is not out of the norm, and keeps clothes safe from filth. Like a protective shield. But can't keep uniform in here on pickup day; trash bag blends in, and next thing you know, uniform is being shipped off to landfill to rot."

"Ew, yeah, we don't want that to happen! Dan has to be a hero again, and you have to be his partner," Archie reasons as he watches as Walter re-hides his costume. "Because you two work well together. I've saw it often, back then: without having to say anything, you'd help each other stand and watch each other's backs. And you'd help each other figure things out. It makes me wonder how you two ever became…"

"Bitter towards one another," Rorschach finishes, his muscles tense. "I'll tell you. It's because he quit. Daniel gave into political pressure, followed the terms of the Keane Act like everybody else. But crime never gives up, so we shouldn't, either. Shouldn't need normalcy, shouldn't want it like some people claim to."

"Does Dan want to be normal?" Archie murmurs as they walk out of the alleyway at a brisk pace and head downtown. "Do you?"

"Only thinks he does; deep down, he's like me: he wants to fight, wants to serve justice like he used to. That's why he's trying to redo things, starting with you."

"Although I didn't turn out like how he thought, huh?" Archie half-laughs, half-sighs. "Still, I'm happy to be here. I like seeing the world differently, through human eyes. It's pretty, in a way."

"But not clean, or safe." Walter curses under his breath. "Never safe." He takes the little boy's hand again as he yanks him away from an incoming crowd wearing Knot Top attire. "Need to be cautious while roaming the streets, Archimedes. Gangs like them are ever-present. Dirty scum like them could break you like tooth pick."

The young freckled boy nods his head once and swallows audibly. "I understand," he murmurs.

"Come. Have other things to teach you," Walter adds as he takes the by across another alley to get to a different street.

Secretly, he enjoys hearing the boy's hidden intelligence revealed through their conversation, and can already tell that the boy will grow up to be a great detective, if given the chance. And, though he hates to admit it, his softer Walter Kovacs part of him, the part thought to have died the night of the Roche case, is beginning to grow fond of the little airship-child. Archie gets crime, because he's witnessed it, and his innocence and naïveté is sweet and malleable, and yet his senses are sharp because of what he's seen in the past.

In an odd way, Rorschach is proud of the boy, even if he will most likely never admit it to anybody.


End file.
